The Stories We Tell Ourselves
April 2024
What stories are you telling yourself? What internal narratives have you accepted as true because they have become so ingrained in your self-image or world view? We all have stories we've crafted, often unconsciously, based on our experiences and the words of others. And whether we realize it or not, these stories influence our mood, behavior, and ultimately, our reality.
Because of the power these stories can have on us, it’s important to explore our internal dialogues and evaluate whether they are progressing us forward or holding us back. Consider the stories about yourself that are most prominent and take up the most brain power. Hopefully, they are empowering and positive. Some examples:
I am enough, exactly as I am.
I have so many strengths and talents to offer.
I can handle anything that comes my way.
I have the power to create change.
I am worthy of great things.
I can shape my future however I want.
These are unfortunately not always our leading thoughts, however. I encounter many individuals who tell themselves stories that are not so positive and uplifting. They have persistent thoughts about themselves and the world that are much less helpful. Some examples:
Life is a constant struggle. (hopelessness)
If I make a mistake, I will be looked at as a failure. (fear)
I’m not smart enough. (self-doubt)
This is as good as it’s going to get. (settling)
I’ll never be as good as others. (comparison)
I’ll be happy when…. (dissatisfaction)
I get it. These narratives can seem so ingrained, so true, that it can be difficult to see it any other way. They can shape parts of our identities. They can additionally fill our thoughts with frustration, skepticism, impracticality, and limitations.
But they can also be dismantled. When we start to become more aware of our limiting stories, we can start to question them, recognizing their impact on us and noticing how they aren’t helpful. We get to loosen the grip on the stories that no longer serve us and craft new, empowering narratives.
No one else can do this work for us. And I intentionally call it “work,” because that’s what it takes to unravel years of conditioned thinking. But you CAN begin to take small steps to reframe your thinking. You can rewrite a different narrative and ultimately create a different reality for yourself. You have the power to change your stories for the better.
